A person with long brown hair and blue glasses smiles at the camera while wearing a denim shirt against a dark background.

 

WELCOME TO "erica's struggle bus"

 

Hi friends! Many of you have already heard about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad start of 2026. But I'd like to keep you all in the loop about what's going on. 
 I promise there is snark.

Blog 2: March Mayhem - "You want me to do what?"

Blog 3: April: Chemo and Reality

Blog 4: May: Bald is Beautiful

Blog 5: June: The Halfway Point

Blog 6: July: Tiredness & Tired of This

In August: Nausea, exhaustion (mental & physical), next steps, fun times & fundraising.

oNe More!

This round of chemotherapy frankly sucks! I knew it would; we all knew it would.


In this round, I’ve found that roughly one-third of my life is spent fighting nausea and exhaustion. It keeps getting worse, and it takes more than just a physical toll. 

In the first round, I was at the infusion center weekly. The people became familiar. The tumor was noticeably shrinking. The side effects were manageable. The routine began to feel safe.


This round is different. Now, I’m only in the infusion center every third week. When I come home, the side effects hit like a train nearly instantly.


And so, the thought of the infusion center has become a mental battle. The smells linger — the disinfectants, the chemo drugs and even the anti-nausea drugs. It all makes me feel sick, even weeks later. 

The thought of sitting in that chair and knowing what each IV drug will do, smell like, or taste like. It’s triggering. 

But here I am! At the threshold of the last one, and I keep trying to tell myself "I can do this.” 

"I can do one more.”

Some days, the thought of that final infusion doesn’t seem so bad. Some days, the thought makes me nauseated enough to quickly change a conversation.


With just one infusion left, here’s what the routine has been like this round:


Infusion is still Monday. When I get home, I’m done for the day — exhausted and already not feeling quite right. On Tuesday, I'm so tired I can barely get out of bed. On Wednesday, the nausea sets in. After the last treatment, I had a hard time eating, drinking and sometimes even taking the anti-nausea drugs. But from there, things gradually get better.


There's a timing and a balance to it all. But with three weeks between infusions, it's hard to find the pattern. Not to mention the fact that each one increases in potency of effects. The first two were tolerable. This last one … well, it sucked!


I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm coming up on the last infusion. The anticipation on top of it all. But I'm ready to say “good riddance.”

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Black and white selfie of a smiling bearded man in an Arizona State Sun Devils t-shirt outdoors.
Three black markers with colorful tips rest on a floral heart coloring book in a green gift box.
Bald man hugging a large dog on a bed in a black and white indoor photo.
Three people smiling together indoors, two men and a woman wearing a black head wrap, posing for a casual group photo.
Person coloring an intricate adult coloring book page featuring a deer and tree with colored pencils on a table.
A large set of colorful pencils arranged in rainbow gradient order in a black case on a wooden table.
Black and white photo of a person cuddling and nuzzling a white dog, sharing a tender moment.
Bald woman in blue Harry Potter shirt playing with golden retriever dog in fenced backyard.
Bald man with glasses smiling while petting a golden retriever dog on a gray couch in black and white photo.
A smiling couple poses together indoors, woman in floral dress with head wrap, man in navy polo and white cap.
A golden Labrador wearing a black harness runs playfully across a green lawn with a white fence and blue sky behind.
Golden Retriever puppy chewing a blue ball on green grass in a fenced backyard under a blue sky.
Man laughing joyfully by sliding glass door in black and white photo with outdoor landscape view.
Black and white photo of a beagle resting on a leather ottoman with two people and a dog sitting on a sofa in background.
Three men sit around a dark wooden dining table chatting, with a golden dog resting on the floor beneath them.
A yellow Labrador retriever holds a stuffed shark toy in its mouth inside a cozy living room.
Two elderly people playing a colorful board game indoors, one reaching across the table in a bright living room.
A tired beagle dog resting on the back of a brown leather sofa in a cozy living room.

The light from the dark

In the weeks that I felt better, I did some fun things. The immunocompromised life continues, so I looked forward to game nights with family.


We finally got to break out “Hues and Cues,” a "guess the color" game. Of course, since I work with colors every day, I won! We also played cornhole in the backyard, since it's not 1000 degrees outside now.


A real highlight: My brother-in-law and his partner invited us over for brunch! It was fantastic and truly felt like it could continue on for hours more. We chatted the day away — literally. We got there around 11 a.m. and left in the late afternoon!


The menu did not disappoint! We had two different types of quiche, breakfast potatoes and a bread bowl with brie and pears. Our dessert was chocolate chip banana bread and a bread pudding with lemon custard! My God, were we all stuffed. My very best compliments to the chef! Truly some of the best food I've had in a while.


I think this brunch has reminded me how much I love to cook (and eat). I can be a bit of a foodie and I have to say this is one of the biggest things I have missed in the entire chemo process. I'm really looking forward to taking advantage of finding new and delicious places to eat.

Black and white portrait of a thoughtful man with beard resting chin on hand, seated outdoors near a house.
Three people sharing a meal around a dining table with food and drinks in a cozy indoor setting.
Colorful rainbow grid board game called Cues with game pieces placed on vibrant gradient squares.
Two women playing cornhole in a backyard with string lights on a white fence at dusk.

What's Next?

What's next after chemotherapy? Surgery. And I have confidence in my surgeon — she specializes in this! The surgery should be minimally invasive, and should have a short recovery period. Before that, I have an MRI (which I’m hopeful will show significant shrinkage of the tumor) and a pre-op appointment.


More importantly, I will get the pathology results a few days or weeks after surgery, which will tell us the current status of the cancer. Fingers and toes are crossed on this!


We were recently reminded that we very quickly had to become experts in my cancer and navigating the system. And I don't think anyone is ever truly an expert, but at the very least you learn what questions to ask and whom to ask them to. Honestly, it's all very annoying, especially navigating insurance and hospital systems. I could go into more detail, but Joel will just delete it because he doesn't want to get sued! Haha


I recently had some anxiety about all of the paperwork, especially how many doctors I am dealing with in rapid succession after chemo. The logistics seem impossible. But I had to remind myself that I am not the only person to go through all of this and that everything will be fine.


After surgery and recovery will come radiation. I am expecting 4-6 weeks, five days a week. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed. It will be okay. We are going through the process and this is what we knew from the very beginning.

A yellow Labrador retriever holds a stuffed shark toy in its mouth inside a cozy living room.
Two people relaxing indoors, one in graduation attire smiling warmly in a softly lit living room.
A vibrant yellow and orange butterfly hovers above a dandelion flower in a lush green grass field.
Silhouetted person standing on dark staircase with brick walls and natural light from window above.

Exciting things to come!

When all of the shit hit the fan this year, Joel and I decided we needed to do SOMETHING! We wanted to do something for Chase, but couldn't find the right fit. And then the cancer happened. And the more I thought about what we could do to make a difference, the more it came into focus.


With Joel's Blooming Through It project, we decided to make a calendar to sell — with much of the proceeds going to breast cancer research. We don't currently have all of the details nailed down, but as soon as we do, we will announce it! 

We will have a pre-sale for printing purposes. Christmas presents anyone?? Stay tuned.


The calendar seems like a fitting way to honor others going through a similar journey — we certainly know what it’s like to lose normalcy. The whole cancer treatment process takes about a year, so it’s symbolic as well. It’s also a chance to showcase the photos Joel took that feature the beauty of the world below our feet.


If you know me, you know I'm a planner and so is Joel. We need a good project or trip to plan to keep our brains busy. There is something to the organization of it all! And so, we are not stopping at a calendar, we also want to plan an in-person event. Once we have more details, we will be more than enthusiastic in sharing them with you!

 

August call out

Shout out to Seven for the best food I have had in MONTHS! Let's do it again for sure, and maybe do some art too!