A person with long brown hair and blue glasses smiles at the camera while wearing a denim shirt against a dark background.

 

WELCOME TO "erica's struggle bus"

 

Hi friends! Many of you have already heard about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad start of 2026. But I'd like to keep you all in the loop about what's going on. 
 I promise there is snark.

Blog 2: March Mayhem - "You want me to do what?"


This month, I started chemotherapy and had to navigate how my life and body works all over again.


The First Day...

The first day of Chemotherapy is a LONG day. It’s a journey just to get to “the chair.” You show up, get bloodwork, and then return to the waiting room for the results. When those come in, you can go to the infusion area. There you find a comfy reclining chair (“the chair”), located in a semi-private area near a snack bar with a microwave and fridge.


Joel and I show up with our stuff — a variety of items to pass the time. But time is a funny thing in the chair. We found out that chemo comes with a bunch of 'pre-treatment' drugs, along with the actual chemotherapy. My cocktail for the first day included a steroid, anti-nausea meds, and Benadryl.


The Benadryl was a game changer. I don't know about you, but Benadryl KNOCKS. ME. OUT. And so, any "time" Joel and I thought we had to do things during treatment was eaten up by a Benadryl nap. It was actually kind of funny. The nurse who was administering everything was going over the details with me, checking to see if I had questions. Suddenly I looked at her and said: "The Benadryl kicked in.” I was ready to sleep.


Everything went well for the first infusion. I napped, Joel and I ate lunch together, and (when the Benadryl wore off a bit) we just talked the hours away. The infusion team is amazing and extremely attentive. I'm sure that I will get to know them well.


Two odd things that happened — so far, these have not proven to be a problem! The team flushes the IV port often, and one time there was a "whoosh" or tickling sensation. And after one of the drugs, I got a helium balloon taste in my mouth. (The chat bot says this is the equivalent of a metallic taste to some people, but I have never in my life heard it described this way). I'll be interested to see if either of these come back again.

Woman with glasses resting in hospital bed, making a funny face while covered with a colorful blanket.
A smiling woman with glasses and a man with a red beard take a cozy selfie together indoors.
Woman wearing sunglasses taking a selfie inside a car on a sunny day in a parking lot.
Smiling woman with glasses lying in hospital bed covered with soft gray blanket, looking relaxed and cheerful.

Pace yourself

All in all, the first week went well as far as side effects. Sleep was sometimes difficult. I would wake up in the middle of the night with tight, heavy, tired muscles that reminded me of going too hard at the gym or spending all day at an amusement park. It didn’t feel like the flu, but I expect that could change.


The fatigue is really interesting. I can have a bunch of energy to do things and then, suddenly, I sit down and realize how tired I am. I take a nap for 20-30 mins and keep going.


I would say for most of the week I was 70-80% myself. Wednesday was worse than Tuesday. But after that I felt "better.” There were a few days in week one that were just mentally hard. Some days the malaise is a lot, you just don't feel "right" and that feeling just won’t go away. Sleeping all day can make it worse, pushing through can make it worse.


You just have to find a balance, pace yourself. To me, that's easier said than done. I like to be busy. Saturdays are for cleaning and pick-up (or for working on a project that's on our long list). But I have to learn to not force it, take it one day at a time.


When I got the cancer diagnosis, I was in the process of trying to clear out the room that would have been for Chase and figure out another purpose for it. I found it — a quiet de-stress room. Joel and I both sometimes just need a space to decompress. No electronics, just vibes and thoughts, and no extra noise. So, on a Saturday in mid-April, two of my best friends came over to help paint while Joel worked. And I think it came out amazing! I love my house, but sometimes you just need a space that requires nothing from you!

A cozy corner with a gray bean bag chair on a braided rug against dark teal walls near a bright window.
Cozy bedroom with teal blue walls, white bookshelf, bean bag chair, and decorative fabric wall art.
White bookshelf with colorful books and decor against teal blue wall next to open white door in cozy room.
Close-up of a friendly golden retriever with tongue out, standing in a cozy blue-walled living room.
Murphy bed with built-in shelving in a teal blue home office with white bookcase and sleeping dog on area rug.
Woman with glasses relaxing on large bean bag chair with a dog in a dark moody room, black and white photo.
Cozy shelf decor with gnome figurine, Welcome-ish sign, fall floral arrangement in gold vase against teal wall.
Blue-walled room with white bookshelf filled with books, two white doors, and hardwood floors in a modern home interior.
A dog rests its chin on a gray blanket in the foreground while a person sits in a teal bedroom in the background.
Wall-mounted fold-down desk in a teal blue home office with white door, bookshelf, and carpet flooring.

HOSPITAL...

I was anxious about the second infusion because I just wasn't sure how quickly the side effects would progress. But Tuesday and Wednesday came and went without much drama. On Thursday and Friday, I was tired. I just wanted to take it easy and have a little nap. Saturday started okay, but in the afternoon I started to feel flushed, and suddenly my face felt weird and bumpy. Soon I realized I had a rash all over my body.


From the beginning of chemo, they tell you, if you get a fever or a weird symptom, call it in! They told me: Watch for fever (anything over 100.4 is an emergency!), and other signs of a severe allergic reaction. Of course, by Sunday afternoon my temperature reached 100.5. Off to the ER!


They tested for everything, before settling on the biggest risk: a bacterial infection. Unfortunately, it takes several days for that to be ruled out — which meant about a 46-hour stay in the hospital. It was not a bacterial infection, I learned. What was it? Who knows. Probably a CHEMO RASH — A reaction to  one of the chemo drugs. But what drug and why? That’s still up for debate.


My stay at the hospital was actually pretty good. I asked a nurse the average age on the floor, her answer was "Oh ... 90!" So I’m proud to say I probably brought the average age on my floor down significantly.


The staff said they were happy to have someone younger and independent, although I think sometimes they weren't sure what to do with my independence. Some of them would pop by after getting vitals and ask if they could get me anything ... and proceed to offer a plethora of snacks and amenities. It was really funny.

A patient in a hospital gown sits cross-legged on a hospital bed, eating food while connected to medical equipment.
Scenic view through a car window of a golden sunset over lush green trees under a blue sky with white clouds.
Egg and cheese sandwich on English muffin served with seasoned home fries on white plate at restaurant.
Woman in hospital gown working on MacBook laptop at bedside table with colored markers nearby.

...and HAIR

I sometimes struggle with the fact that I'm losing my hair. I knew that it could be in a few weeks or a few months, it's inevitable. But in hopes that I would keep it a bit longer, I had it cut to relieve the stress on my head. Also, I thought cutting my hair might just help when it does fall out to be less shocking. I was wrong.


Up until I got back from the hospital, I had zero hair loss. So, it was a surprise when I got a shower: A handful of hair rinsed off — not clumps, but enough to know it was starting. Like most would, I had a moment — and needed to remind myself "I can do hard things"! Two days later, after a little research, I ordered a wig and a headscarf.


After a few days, I needed to wash my hair again. I lost at least a quarter of my already thinning hair in that shower.  It's very annoying to constantly be pulling a bunch of detached hairs from your head. I try to just leave it alone, but you don't realize how much you touch your head! Trying to do a ponytail, or unconsciously play with your hair, or run your fingers through it.


I'm definitely over the shedding. I think I will be okay when I shave my head. I feel like I might want to do it on my terms — not on chemo's terms! Take back just a little bit of control in this draining process.

A smiling young person wearing a purple and blue trucker hat and glasses, resting chin on hand outdoors.
Woman wearing colorful patterned head scarf and glasses sitting on brown leather sofa indoors.
Smiling woman with glasses and dark hair wearing a Hogwarts shirt, standing outdoors near pink flowering trees.

 

VISITORS & A TON OF CARDS

Over the past couple of weeks I have received innumerable amounts of cards, gifts, and words of encouragement. As well as a meal calendar, started by my work friends (thank you in advance). Also a visit from one of our favorite couples, who wanted to check up on me & Joel and drop off a gift bag curated by themselves and another bestie! You all are absolutely amazing!