WELCOME TO "erica's struggle bus"
Hi friends! Many of you have already heard about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad start of 2026. But I'd like to keep you all in the loop about what's going on. I promise there is snark.
Blog 2: March Mayhem - "You want me to do what?"
Blog 3: April: Chemo and Reality
This past month, I shaved my head and tackled some projects.
May Day
May 1 brought the annoyance of hair loss and the decision to host a head-shaving party as soon as possible. I invited my aunts on my Mom's side and a few friends to help support me. Trust me, if I could invite all of you, I totally would have. I had to try to keep it small.
I definitely would have cried if the event hadn’t been a party. But instead, I surrounded myself with supportive people, some of whom have been through this journey or just been very close to it. My eldest aunt also had TNBC (Triple Negative Breast Cancer) and just reached 5-year cancer-free status. Remarkably, neither of ours were genetic. We don't really get it either! I will say again — GO GET THEM CHECKED!
The wig I ordered took way longer than it should to get here, but it's super cute! Honestly though, I've been embracing the head-scarf game! They are very comfortable and practical for during the day. But I actually really like just walking around without hair. It's not in your face, shedding, or getting stuck in things. I did wear the wig out on some errands the other day, and it's very comfortable, but I could see it getting hot after awhile.
Half-way mark of Round One?
May marks the basically halfway mark of Round One. It’s hard for anyone, medical professional or not, to find the tumor anymore. This is definitely the way we want things to go! The biggest setback has been two delayed weeks of treatment — one because of the rash and one because of a holiday.
Side effects have been an interesting rollercoaster of GI issues, heartburn and limbs that feel like they are full of lead. There have been times I've woken in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I feel like I have 10-pound weights on all of my limbs. Aches and pains also come and go on a daily basis. At one point in the day I can walk up the stairs with a spring in my step. At another point, I feel like I have arthritis — knees, ankles, hips, even my toes are sore in the joints and I'm winded by the time I get to the top.
It all can be very frustrating, and yet, it could be a hell of a lot worse. And maybe it will be when Round Two (the harder hitting drugs) starts mid-summer.
complexity of emotion
It's disorienting that all of this now "feels normal.” I’ve been able to manage or push through all the side effects. I look normal (without hair). I feel relatively normal. I'm able to have a fairly normal routine.
And yet the stakes are very high. I know I am immunocompromised — so being exposed to even a cold could easily cause another stay at the hospital.
And the loneliness can creep up. Those of you who know me, you know I am extremely social! Especially in the spring/summer seasons. I like to visit family, go to picnics, host parties. But even something like going shopping in person, inviting people to the house, or going to the movies has to be carefully planned — or skipped for safety.
Joel and I try to be creative with our outings. We visit the local state park in the evenings for sunset photography, walk around the neighborhood or just a ride in the car, sometimes even that is enough. Enough to avoid feeling cooped up in the house — stir-crazy.
But little outings, for the most part, keep the stir-crazy away. We recently got to spend a nice partial afternoon with Joel’s cousin and her family at our favorite state park. (They were kind enough to drive up from West Virginia after we messed up an attempt to meet them halfway to do a family food/gift exchange — a long story involving at least a little bit of chemo brain).
It felt great to do something so normal.
May Projects!
May brought about four big projects, three of them fun.
Project one: Putting together a retirement/Mother's Day/birthday trip for my mother-in-law. This was a joint effort between Joel, my brother-in-law and myself. We decided to surprise her with a trip to Jim Thorpe, the cutest little Pennsylvania town that most of us have never visited. Planning the trip and assembling the surprise (complete with a fake newspaper tourism brochure) was a blast. I forgot how much we love trip planning!
Project two: Every good vacation needs a good camera, right? We realized Father's Day is also coming and that we really didn't properly celebrate the my father-in-law's retirement. We all worked together to assemble a camera kit for their vacation (and retirement!). My father-in-law is the original Shannon photographer, and we hope the new camera will document many memories to come!
Project three: Joel's birthday party. I had a small plan — a Toy Story-themed party. Unfortunately, my bloodwork had other things in mind. The numbers dipped very low, officially putting me in the “oh no, I’m officially immunocompromised :(“ territory. So, the party was just our parents. We had dinner and cake (which was fantastic!) and decorations — I almost forgot the decorations. And his Dad got to test out the new camera!
Project four: Detective work. Unfortunately, my in-laws were the victims of a smash-and-grab at our favorite state park soon after the birthday party. But this gave us a chance to use “Find My iPhone” to track down the stolen goods — in a ditch on the side of the road. I guess those podcasts do help — don’t make fun of your true crime friends! We know things.
If you think we don’t have more projects under our belt — hang on. Planning is basically what we can do when I’m stuck at home, all immunocompromised and such.
May call out
Joel's efforts on the Blooming Through It series are amazing. I have a contribution or two, but it's really his pet project to get through this. Please follow along on his photo adventures, checking out the small things in life.
